Nancy Putkoski: Anthony Bourdain’s First Wife, Untold Story, and Her Impact on His Life

When you think of Anthony Bourdain, you probably picture a globe-trotting chef, a fearless storyteller, and a man who lived life on his own terms. But behind the scenes, there was someone who shaped the man before the myth—Nancy Putkoski. Her story is one of loyalty, rebellion, and a love that anchored Bourdain through his wildest and most formative years.

From High School Rebels to Lifelong Partners

Nancy Putkoski grew up in Fort Lee, New Jersey, and quickly earned a reputation as the “bad girl” at Dwight-Englewood School. She ran with a rebellious crowd, and it was here that a young Anthony Bourdain first fell for her. He was so taken with Nancy that he graduated high school early just to follow her to Vassar College, which had only recently started admitting men.

Their connection was instant and intense. At Vassar, Nancy became Bourdain’s guide to a world of art, music, and new experiences. Together, they navigated the ups and downs of young adulthood, forging a bond that would last decades.

Days at Vassar & Early Adult Life

College life was anything but ordinary for Nancy and Anthony. Bourdain was one of the few men on campus, and their shared adventures set the tone for their future. After Vassar, Bourdain left to attend the Culinary Institute of America, but their relationship stayed strong.

The couple eventually settled in New York and married in 1985. Their early years together were a whirlwind—late nights, wild parties, and a shared love of life’s pleasures. Bourdain later described this period as a time when they were “high all the time,” sneaking into restaurant walk-ins and living life on their own terms.

Marriage: Love, Loyalty, and Growing Distance

For nearly 20 years, Nancy Putkoski was Bourdain’s partner-in-crime. She supported him through the chaos of New York’s restaurant scene, offering stability when he needed it most. But as Bourdain’s career took off—first with the explosive success of "Kitchen Confidential," then with his hit TV shows—things began to change.

Nancy never liked the spotlight. She hated being near a camera and was uncomfortable with Anthony’s growing fame. As Bourdain’s world expanded, so did the distance between them. He was constantly traveling for work, filming shows like "A Cook’s Tour," while Nancy preferred a quieter, more private life back home.

The differences became too great to ignore. After 20 years together, they divorced in 2005. Bourdain later called their breakup his “great betrayal,” admitting that it was one of the hardest periods of his life.

Did Nancy Putkoski and Anthony Bourdain Have Children?

Nancy Putkoski and Anthony Bourdain did not have any children during their 20-year marriage. Bourdain openly expressed that he did not want children at the time, feeling he wouldn’t be a good father. This absence of children may have contributed to some of the distance in their relationship, but the main reason for their divorce was Bourdain’s demanding travel and career commitments. After their split, Bourdain later became a father to his only child, daughter Ariane, with his second wife, Ottavia Busia. Nancy Putkoski has not had any children, either during or after her marriage to Bourdain

Aftermath and Enduring Legacy

The divorce hit Bourdain hard. He openly admitted to spiraling into reckless behavior—drinking, drug use, and a general disregard for his own well-being. Through it all, Nancy remained a steady, if distant, influence. She chose to step out of the spotlight entirely, shunning social media and public appearances. Some reports suggest she still receives royalties from "Kitchen Confidential," but she’s never sought attention or fame.

Anthony Bourdain’s Tragic Death

Anthony Bourdain died by suicide on June 8, 2018, at age 61 while filming in France. The official cause was hanging. In the months before his death, Bourdain struggled with depression, loneliness, the pressures of fame, and exhaustion from constant travel. His turbulent relationship with actress Asia Argento and recent personal stress also contributed, but there was no single cause—rather, a combination of emotional and professional challenges.

At the time of his death, Bourdain was legally separated but not divorced from his second wife, Ottavia Busia-Bourdain, an Italian-born mixed martial artist and former restaurant manager. They married in 2007, had a daughter named Ariane, and remained close co-parents after their 2016 separation. Bourdain was not married to Asia Argento, though they were in a public relationship.

Final Thoughts

Nancy Putkoski is much more than a footnote in Anthony Bourdain’s story. She was the quiet force who helped shape the man behind the legend. Her story reminds us that behind every bold, public life, there’s often a quieter one—full of sacrifices, strength, and untold influence.